physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
