Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
