A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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