I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
