your room smells of hookers.
And success
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize