He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
