Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
