Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
