just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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