Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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