just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
