Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
4 words: hood of his car
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
