I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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