Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
