id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
