You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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