i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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