She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
