take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
