Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
