is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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