yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
