You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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