ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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