What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
