some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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