id be glad to
She announced her abortion via fbk
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
