Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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