During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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