i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
