So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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