I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
