So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
