Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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