I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
