Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You're a waste of cheezeits
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
