nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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