Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
it was like eating out sand paper
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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