I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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