I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
