I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
