Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
