Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
