Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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