I wanna bring you to show and tell
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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