I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize