i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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