do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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