Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
