I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You are a genius and a whore.
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