Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
