woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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