One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
