Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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