What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
