wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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