This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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