And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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