I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
